Sexual assault: 1 million stories

Last week, countless women spoke out about having been sexually assaulted — many telling their stories for the first time.

I was one of them.

They — we — received an outpouring of support.

We also were doubted, judged and shamed.

When I wrote last week about how being groped by two separate men affected me, I was stunned at the responses I received.

Women — some close friends, others I didn’t know, told me their stories about being sexually harassed, assaulted, raped.

Men thanked me for what I’d written, offered their support and reminded me that many of them are good.

But a few people responded differently online.

One pushed back at a woman I’d referenced in my column, saying she “intended that every man grope her” and linking to a photo of her at a lingerie photo shoot that apparently invites assault.

As for the other, who asked me if I’d reported being assaulted and if I’ve ever made sexual comments about a man I was attracted to?

No, random person who has never met me, I didn’t report the assaults. Why? I was terrified. I didn’t know the men who had groped me. I was alone, and the foremost thought in my mind was getting away from them, rather than obtaining their identification or hoping that hollering for another stranger to step in would end well for me.

And yes, I have made sexual comments about men while speaking with friends.

THAT’S locker room talk.

What I haven’t done is brag about grabbing those men without their consent, kissing them without waiting to see if they wanted me to or otherwise touching them in ways that didn’t take their desires into account.

Why? Because that’s assault.

Pretty simple.

Thank you for illustrating what so many women are trying to convey. Sexual assault is a problem. Blasé attitudes about sexual assault are a problem.

When, in the space of one week, two men decided on separate occasions that my body was theirs to grab, it wasn’t the first time I had encountered men like them.

When I was in my early 20s, two men followed me down a deserted street, calling out lewd comments and egging each other on, while I clutched my keys, tried to pull down the hem of my short dress even as I cursed myself for thinking of that and prayed I’d reach my house before they turned their words into actions.

Years before that, I sat on an otherwise empty city bus, in the middle of the day, and a man stepped on and chose the seat next to me rather than the dozens of empty ones, tried to put his arm around me, put his face close to mine and trapped me against the window for several moments as I sat, frozen. When I wouldn’t respond to him, he called me a whore, as the male bus driver said nothing.

I was a young teen then.

I could tell you other stories — and so could way too many other women.

In the past days, many of them have spoken.

There’s Jessica, who said presidential candidate Donald Trump grabbed her breasts and tried to shove his hand up her skirt while sitting next to her on a plane 30 years ago, according to The New York Times.

There’s Rachel, Temple and Natasha, who all said Trump kissed them on the mouth without their permission.

There are many others, now, who have come forward as well to say the presidential candidate groped or kissed them without their consent.

And there are scores of other women, everyday, normal women like me whom you’ve never heard of, who have revealed online the memories that have scarred them.

Here are a few of them.

Lynne: “Grabbed from behind on the street. Thought it was my fault because I was wearing a dress. Never told anyone. I was 14.”

Susan: “Eight years old in a movie theater, separated from cousins, when man next to me placed my hand on his exposed penis.”

Tina: “Senior in college, with friends in Vegas. Drugged and dragged to a stranger’s hotel. Dumped by fiancé because he blamed me.”

Sarathi: “At 5, molested by father; 14, attacked at school; 18, raped by date; 21, groped by boss; 24, raped by husband.”

I’ve seen stories that say a million women, or more — and some men — have contributed to this conversation online recently.

A million people.

Not a problem?

Tell them that.

Tell us that.