How the story ends: Lessons in fear

“I want to take a dance class,” Kendall exclaimed excitedly as she leapt across the living room.

We had just finished watching an Angelina Ballerina DVD and we had decided to play “Ballet Class.” I had shimmied on a pink tulle tutu over my jeans while Kendall had changed her outfit entirely and was now wearing a purple tutu dress.

“You are taking a dance class. I’m the teacher and you’re my student. It’s time to arabesque,” I said as I placed my weight on my right leg and extended my left leg behind me.

“No, no, no. A REAL dance class,” Kendall insisted as she tried her own arabesque.

With her arm and leg lifted, toes pointed and chin up, she looked much more graceful than I ever did.

“That’s a great idea! I’ll call and ask about enrollment,” I said. “Now, pirouette!”

The next day I called Rhythm Room Dance Center and Prairie Blue Creative Arts, both studios here in Jefferson.

I began picturing Kendall lining up with all the other little girls at the dance bar, in front of mirrors, practicing plies. I was mentally picking out her pale pink leotard and coupling it with a black tutu and pink dance shoes. I was getting excited for all her future friends and play dates.

After a few days of phone tag, my hopes of new friends and life skills were quickly dashed.

Both studios did indeed begin instructing children 3 years and older, but enrollment followed the school year and began in September. She could not begin classes in February. I was devastated for her. She really wanted to dance and we both wanted her to make some new friends.

My two closest Mommy friends and their daughters moved away last year and I admit that Kendall and I have been a bit lonely since then here in Jefferson.

Yes, I have been extremely busy with my baby boy, spending three months of winter in Australia, and traveling on the tennis circuit with my husband. But now that Kendall is getting older, I would love for her to be involved in some activities and to have the opportunity to play with kids her own age.

Determined to help Kendall find a peer group, I called other child-friendly activity centers in and around Jefferson: tumbling, gymnastics, swim lessons and the local library. I spoke to a lot of answering machines and found out nothing, or was given bad news.

I was really hoping for good news when I spoke to the library about their children’s story time. I was disappointed yet again because story time was on hiatus due to construction.

The weeks passed quickly as Kendall, Hayden and I traveled to Florida and Mexico with my husband for tennis tournaments.

Finally, story time began again.

I woke up early quite excited to meet new moms and hopefully pre­school-aged kids for Kendall. Furthering my excitement was the fact that one of my close Mommy friends who had moved away was actually back in town with her daughters and we would be attending story time together.

I told Kendall for days beforehand that we would be going to the library to read and do crafts and that our old friends would be there. For days she asked if it was time yet to see her friends.

When we finally pulled into the parking lot of the library, Kendall informed me that she didn’t want to go in.

I reminded her that our friends were inside and perhaps new friends as well.

She was not convinced, and as soon as we were out of the cold and into the hallway of the library, Kendall began to sob.

I was taken aback. We had talked about this moment for weeks and now that fun and socialization were just a couple of steps away, she was hiding her face in a bookshelf and crying.

“I don’t want to,” she screamed. “I want to go home!”

“Let’s just go inside the kids area and see what it’s like. OK, honey? If you don’t like it, we can go home,” I said, crouching down to her level while holding my baby son to my chest.

She sobbed. Big tears rolled down her face. I was completely shocked. This was the girl who talked to everyone at airports, playgrounds and tennis courts.

And here she was, cowering in the corner at a place she had been before.

Perhaps it was her age.

In January, the Australian Open offered a kids day where children could meet Nickelodeon characters. Kendall saw Dora the Explorer cut through the players area and we then spent the next 20 minutes racing across the grounds to meet her.

Once it was our turn to say “hello” and snap a photo with the giant costume, she clung onto me like a starfish and refused to look at the camera, or Dora.

She did almost the same thing after she begged to meet the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

She cried before meeting Princess Jasmine at Kidsfest in Des Moines as well, so maybe meeting animated characters in real life was not her thing. (I probably should never tell her about my involvement with Minnie Mouse when I was employed by Disney.)

I carried Kendall into the kids area. She would not take her coat off. She would not get closer. But she did quiet down and listen.

Hayden happily crawled around the carpet while I stood behind the huddle of children, holding Kendall, as the books were read aloud.

Once it was craft time, she took off her coat and joined in with the others. Kendall and I are big crafters and glue sticks truly bring her joy.

By open play time, Kendall was make-believing with the other girls and boys. Standing on one side of the play kitchen, stirring a pot of plastic spaghetti, she looked over at me, with a huge smile on her face, and said proudly: “Mom, I’m not scared anymore!”

Fear! Of course! I was embarrassed I hadn’t realized earlier that she was scared. So it w​as her age: She is growing up (so fast) and learning life lessons.

Change is hard and things that are different can be scary to experience at first.

But pushing past the fear can truly result in fun.

Andra Kucerak Guccione is a Jefferson resident.